Social Essence
Last year was a year where I was able to look closely at my relationships. The relationship I have with myself, my family, my friends, work colleagues and the different communities I am actively present in.
In an unpredictable year with more time alone, I chose to do some soul searching, to dig deep into my soul and to discern what my values are and how these transfer to all facets of my life.
This led me to researching, discussing and then connecting to a new topic: social essence.
This topic entails the development of one's ability to truly understand who they are, to confidently project their passions and values, to stand tall and to share their essence of self with others, whilst maintaining clear boundaries.
Personal boundaries are hard things to withhold. It’s a learnt behavior that is constantly challenged by those we come into contact with on our journey. By accurately identifying your value set and listening to what makes you most comfortable, you can identify what boundaries you need to put into place. It then shapes and influences all of your social interactions.
Not all social interactions are based on our own projections; what we are looking for or needing in that moment. Some interactions come via family, work, acquaintances of friends - all of which can challenge those boundaries. Social essence is about learning to stand tall in the face of adversity. Acknowledging what makes you you.
My biggest challenge over the years, and I am sure I am not alone in this, is truly finding ‘my people’. The people in my world that I connect to the most, to share a somewhat unspoken dance of connection and support. Finding the people that support each other unconditionally.
I have moved between different communities every 18 to 24 months in the past ten years of my life. Earlier in my working career I changed jobs and locations, resulting in limited time and the ability to connect with people on a deeper level. Maintaining true friendships has been a challenge and identifying what I like to call ‘my top 5’ - who provide support and share my values has taken years to achieve. It’s true what they say, quality over quantity always. You don’t need a lot of friends in life, just a few really good ones.
Having those good friends should be a reflection of your values. Individuals who respect your boundaries and influence you in a positive way. They should ignite your essence of expression, ultimately empowering your social essence.
Over the last decade or more, I have been doing a lot of self growth and inner healing. And this has impacted my connections and relationships based on where I have been in that period of life. I often reflect on the saying ‘some people are here for a reason, a season or to stay’ and it has truly rang true over time.
I guess a big learning curve for me, is that the more I have consistently shown up for myself, loved who I am and began to let my guard down in order to share who I truly am, the happier and stronger I have become.
It's about how we socially interact with others and what social groups we find ourselves in. Don’t be afraid to identify where you may be struggling with certain people. You may have learnt more about yourself and come to the conclusion that they do not align with your values or respect your boundaries.
So, how can we show up for ourselves and others in order to strengthen our support network and positively shape our wellbeing and mental health?
We can do so by identifying our social essence.
Ask yourself a few questions…
What are my core values?
Who are my top 5?
How do they positively and or negatively affect me?
Have I outgrown people in my life?
How can I positively influence those around me better?
I hope that as I explore this further you can come along for the ride. It is so much more powerful to share the experience with each other, show up and support one another as we navigate the essence of how we socialise.
Stay connected, stay true to you,
