My Top 5
Jim Rohn is most famous for the saying “You are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with”.
I agree wholeheartedly with this statement. As I’ve got older, I’ve started to become more and more aware of the influence those closest to me have on my personality and my life. As I continuously grow, shift and change as a person, the people I surround myself with reflect that.
I believe having an awareness of and an ability to understand who the top 5 people are in your life is incredibly powerful. It allows us to reflect on who we are, who the people are around us, what qualities they possess that you are in turn drawn to and then evaluating whether or not you both share in a reciprocal relationship together.
Your top 5 people are those that you choose to spend the most time with. These people can be family, friends, work colleagues or your partner. In my new Social Essence workbook, I explore the idea of the Top 5 and how individuals can support, influence and shape who you can become.
Like many of us, the past 12 months have been a period of great change for me. I have gone through lockdowns, isolations, restrictions to professional practice, changes within how businesses are run with increased legislation, as well as increased personal growth and professional growth. As I have undergone all these shifts, so too have my family and friends. Being able to witness their personal growth and changes has allowed me to further understand who they are becoming and how important our social essence is in contributing to our personal life.
Truthfully I have had to dig deep, re-evaluate personally where my values and beliefs are and how I was going to choose to move forward. It involved deep thinking, some pain and great reflection, to determine the best path moving forward. As a result I developed a deeper understanding of how my personal core values played a role in my life and those I choose to surround myself with. When I listened to what I needed moving forward, I had to determine if I was truly honoring what makes me happiest.
Honestly, I wasn’t.
Once I came to that realisation, I made a commitment to myself, I would begin to hold true to my values - especially when it came to being around like-minded people.
Once I actually made the decision and made a personal agreement to myself, I was surprised how much changed and how my choices directed me down a different path. Due to these decisions and changes it has meant that my Top 5 have shifted again.
So how did I get here? I created non-negotiables when I made the commitment to myself.
I outlined some clear boundaries personally on what choices I was making and have followed through on that.
I have chosen to make continued effort with relationships in my life where it is reciprocated and shared. Relationships that allow me to be authentically myself.
I have actively sought out a balance and strived to become a consistent and reliable person within my family and friends, showing up and enjoying the little pleasures of everyday life.
I have chosen joy and happiness.
I have finally started putting myself first.
After almost 12 months of holding myself to these non-negotiables, I am much happier. I am more fulfilled personally, the people around me calm me, bring joy and laughter and unconditional support. I have developed and continue to develop the people in my corner cheering me on.
Since doing this, I’ve also noticed relationships change outside of my Top 5 - even with my employees and work colleagues. I have also made changes in the business that allow for my boundaries to be maintained. To keep myself accountable and my work team accountable to sustain a work life balance with more joy.
I have identified what’s most important to me and outlined new boundaries for myself and my relationships. None of that would be possible though without the right people supporting me in a time of personal reflection and change. Knowing that I have unconditional support from my Top 5, affirms that I am making the right choices. I am forever thankful for my Top 5 right now, for a calmer happier Jess is rising for the betterment of myself, family, friends, colleagues and my community. That is the true meaning of social essence for me; an ability to live out your truth and values everyday.
So, I ask you to do something for yourself… take out a pen and some paper and define your values. Write them down. What do you value most? Is it things like loyalty, spirituality, humility, compassion, honesty, kindness, integrity or selflessness? Write them down.
Once you’ve identified those values ask yourself are you truly living those values?
Now, write down your Top 5 people… those that are closest to you and you spend the most time with. Do they live those values? And therefore encourage you to exhibit and live by those values yourself?
If you’d like to explore this further, and get to know how to create a supportive top 5, you can now purchase my Social Essence Workbook which explores social essence and the impact you have on those around you, and the impact others have on you! You can instantly download it and print it to work through it at home. Take a look below.
If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to reach out and say hello!
